The Sleeping Lion

One evening, I was standing in queue behind one of the array of counters of the Tesco supermarket at Gallions Reach. A guy, who had an ethnic Mallu face came running towards the counter. Gasping for breath he found his way through the crowd of trolleys and people.
‘Two packs of condoms and two M size underwears please.’ He shouted at the Tesco employee who sat at counter.
‘What?’ The employee was embarrassed.
‘Condoms? Underwear?’ He repeated his question.
‘Go! Get it from the store and come back here for billing.’
‘I’m in a hurry. Please? Help!!!’
‘I said; go get it from the store.’ The employee gave a stare pointing his finger towards the store.
‘Fucking hell! Okay, I’ll be back.’ He ran into the store. I felt a slight Mallu accent somewhere in his words which quickly came and went. It wasn't deliberately hidden but wasn't too obvious either.
‘Hurry-Burry for fucking pieces of condoms… Crazy people, wasting my time.’ The employee mumbled. Why would a guy be so confident but too desperate for condoms? Wouldn’t you be curious? So was I.

I dropped my shopping trolley and ran behind him to Store.
‘Hello Mate!’ I found him searching at a rack in the pharmacy section.
‘Yes?’ He answered without looking at me.
‘I can help you find what you are searching for. I heard you at the counter.’
‘Yes, you did? Do you work here?’
‘No.’
He paused his search for a moment and looked at me.
‘What do you want?’ He gave me a curious-stubborn look.
‘I want to help you find the condoms.’
‘That’s not what I asked. If you don’t work here in Tesco, why would you want to help me?’
‘You are a Mallu, aren't you?’
‘What?’
‘Are you from Kerala, India?’
‘No! Now, fuck off.’
I gave him a I-know-you’re-a-mallu look. He ignored me.

After 5 mins of searching he got very restless. He couldn’t find any condoms.
‘Do you know where the condoms are?’ He looked at me again.
‘Yes.’
‘Where?’
‘I won’t tell you.’
‘C’mon. Please… Okay!! I’m sorry. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Please understand. I would really appreciate your help.’
‘You need to tell me why you’re so desperate. ...just curious, that’s all.,' I shrugged 'You are searching for condoms as if you’re searching for aspirins for headache.’
‘My friend and I are going to Edinburgh.’ He replied as he kept searching.
‘Your girlfriend, huh?’
‘No he’s a guy.’
‘Ah I see…’ I gave him a naughty smile.
‘I’m not gay. We are taking two girls with us. My friend is waiting in the car and we’re on the way to pick them up.’
‘Ohh Ok!’ I pretended as if I was relieved.
‘What?’
‘Ohh nothing, just wondering, how lucky you and your friend are.’
‘I wouldn’t be that lucky if we’re late to pick the girls. You can’t trust these girls. It’s very difficult to keep them happy. They may change their mind any time. We need to go get them as soon as possible. Where are the condoms?’
‘You’re searching at the wrong place. It’s this side. See… Durex, Mates… Which one?’ You shouldn’t mess too much with a guy who is looking for condoms. He could be dangerous. I picked one from each for him.
‘Thanks!’ He snatched both and ran towards the counters.
‘Hey wait, forgot about the underwear?’ I called him back.
‘Ohh Shit! I almost forgot. Where can I find the underwears?’ He came back running.
‘Upstairs! Come with me.’

‘So, what’s the story about the underwears?’ I asked him while we searched for his M size under wears.
‘Fresh Underwears, best results!! You need to be neat and tidy.‘  He advised, ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’He took two packs one for himself and the other one for his friend. We walked back.
‘No! Not yet. I may need to find one.’ I replied.
‘Hmmm… No deer would run into the mouth a sleeping lion.’ He quoted.
‘What?’ I wasn't immediately clear to me what he meant.
‘I said, no deer would run into the mouth a sleeping lion. If you need one, YOU need to go get one.’ He walked away towards the “quick billing” counter and I walked in search for my shopping trolley.

I waited in the queue deeply contemplating about the sleeping lion inside me. Said correctly, I thought, good quote. Why didn't I think about it before? I should wake up. 'WAKE UP!!!' I screamed aloud. Everyone around me looked worried. They stared at me. I smiled and bent my head down in shame. That's when I thought, lions do not bend their head down like that. I immediately looked up to see if there were any good deers around me. There were none except for a few antique pieces on wheelchairs. The others were taken.